dreams in digital

I've been up for like the past hour and a half with terrible heartburn fml.

Last job fell through after like two months, on the hunt for another one. Out of all the applications I've filled out and the three employment agencies I've signed up with, I have two potential jobs coming up; since I'm heading back to school this fall I'll probably have to take both of them, since shit is expensive like whoa. One is a vet clinic kennel worker position, which will be the coolest job since sliced bread, and the other is a HP help line position, which I can only hope not to fuck up on too horribly.

So, what am I doing when I'm not beating the pavement? Been playing a bit of FFXIII and Pokemon Soul Silver, which is very cool. Also Ragnarok Online as per usual. Once a month I have a Vampire: the Requiem game, which I look forward to more because it's a chance to be social with people than for the game itself, which is still quite fun.

My sister also brought home Batman and Philosophy: The Dark Knight of the Soul, which I've been reading. Some of it is rather interesting, like the moral implications of training a Robin (that is to say, whether or not it is morally permissible for Batman to train his young wards to fight dangerous criminals). Some of it is kind of...not so interesting, like the essay on whether or not Batman and the Joker could be the same person. Apparently there's like a whole series of books on the philosophy of pop culture. I think the next one I'll check out will be the Final Fantasy one. From what I understand there's a FFIX essay on the Black Mages and death.

Kind-of sort-of watching Spartacus right now. The dialogue leaves a bit to be desired and since I'm coming in midway through the story I really don't follow on the plot, but I appreciate the cinematography. The director really did a good job on portraying just how fucking brutal the gladiatorial games really were. A+.

Kind of pissed right now because I haven't worked all week. I mean, I'm not really in love with the job, but I don't have any other prospects right now so I need all the shifts I can get just to get by. All my shifts were cannibalized so one of my coworkers could get a few extra hours on his paycheck, which makes me a bit resentful. But whatever.

o hai thar i haz new computer. Sadly, still no internet, so I'm posting from work. Hopefully that'll be fixed by next month.

So, work. Stressful. I am absolute rubbish at working with the public, it seems. I should just find some drab cubicle job and be done with it. D=

Happy Halloween, everyone! :

So apparently my cousin decided to propose to his girlfriend in the middle of a cosplay event at BlizzCon. Geek love is so cute.

So, I might have a job at World Market. I don't know for sure; when I called to check on that today the manager wasn't in, so I'll have to call tomorrow morning. This would be great, though, not just because I'll finally be able to support myself again but because it'll be a great way to get out of the house and be productive. The worst part about being unemployed is feeling like a useless lump.

If I get a job, I probably won't have time for all the LARPing and iRO that I've been doing to pass the time recently. But I love roleplay, so I've been thinking about getting back into text-based RPs since I can make a comment one day, go to work/school/whatever and come back the next day to check it, leave another comment, rinse and repeat. No schedule juggling required. Anyone got a good RP to recommend?

You know, I've felt a lot better since I quit watching the news. Less sad, less filled with rage, more chipper. What the fuck does that say about me? I guess ignorance really is bliss...

Added a few images to my sorely neglected devART. I hope to make this a regular thing.

So I've been on these new medications for a little over a month. At first I didn't adjust well at all to it--Lamictal made me angry again, Geodon made me sick, and Buspar made me sleep twenty hours a day. About the only thing that didn't make me feel horrible was Bupropion (which is generic for...some kind of anti-depressant, I forget which). So after another visit to the doctor some adjustments were made to my prescriptions, and now I'm doing much better. Geodon is down to once a day, Lamictal's out. Buspar still makes me sleepy, but it's not as bad now that I'm not seasick-on-land nauseous to go with it, and I can stay awake if I have to.

I'm drawing again--nothing big, just a few sketches here and there. I've even put a few applications in here and there. Hopefully I'll get some callbacks this week, maybe get an interview or even get hired.

Taking advantage of the fact that I'm the only one in the house (other than the cats) that's awake right now.

So. Finally, finally, finally managed to get an intake appointment in at the local low-income psych clinic a week and a half ago. It...probably went better than I think, because I could swear that the lady getting my info down wanted to lock me in a padded room, but here I am--safe in my very not padded house and awaiting my doctor's appointment (the earliest available was fucking April). Hopefully they won't try Lamictal again, that shit ruined my ability to produce anything of artistic value enough already.

Wrenched my knee last week trying to run on the treadmill, which is apparently broken. It would have been nice to know that before I turned it on and was thrown off of it, but eh. I'll live. I just have to wear the brace for a few more days and then I'm done.

When it rains, it pours.

Other than that, there's not much going on. Still absolutely terrified of going out in public alone, so I've been playing a lot of iRO during the week. The one good thing about all the DDoS attacks, DST WoE errors, and general problems the game has been experiencing is that the GMs keep adding days onto everyone's account subscriptions. This works out just fine for me, since most of it keeps happening while I'm asleep or doing chores or whatever and thus don't have to experience any inconveniences (except for the DCs while vending, that sucks).

( Cut for tl;dr baww'ing )

So, tonight I'm going to a One Piece-based BESM campaign, after I deposit my sister's poor baby cat back at her domicile (he was recuoperating from a vet visit/teeth cleaning at our parents' house because did not need to be with our rambunctious kitten) and help a friend get some property back from someone. Property that should have been paid for, but which the person in question seemed to have simply forgot payment was due on. Hopefully that will be quick and painless and will not involve the cops, because I haven't had a good tabletop RPG in a while and don't want to be upset and teary-eyed and cranky for it. My nerves haven't been in the best state lately.

I'm the ship's doctor, by the way. Hopefully I won't lose too many patients.

This works out fairly well, because the GM has a scanner that I need to make use of. I brought an application home from the vet, but stupidly placed it under the canvas cat carrier and so it was peed on quickly by Ebenezer, who never really did like long car rides. I need to scan the app so I can fill out and turn in a copy that doesn't reek of ammonia. This would be an ideal job for me, as I would only be around animals and the occaisional vet tech, so I wouldn't have to constantly deal with stupid motherfuckers setting me off every five seconds like I did at most of my previous jobs. If I get this one, I might not have to go on disability/medicaid and can get some juicy employer-offered insurance with BCBS or something.

This is the optimal outcome. This is me trying to be optimistic. Big smiles.

I used to be like the biggest God-damned weaboo ever, but I haven't really watched anything recently except, like, One Piece. I kind of miss being an anime/manga fantard. Recs, anyone? I'm not picky about genres, as long as the art and voice acting aren't terrible and the plot's decent I'm willing to give anything a try.

Merry Christmas u gaiz!

So, I haven't recieved a call-back on the job, even after I called to check up on my application status. It's pretty safe to say at this point that they got someone else for the position, which makes me very sad inside.

The good news is that I actually passed my music course, which means that (unless they change the requirements for graduation between now and then) I'll be able to walk this spring and get my shiney piece of paper that certifies that I'm actually worth something. Hooray, I get to enter the normal workforce now!

So, what's up with you, FList? =3

I might have a new job. Wish me luck? =D

Water's receded. Shortest lived flood ever, I guess, for which I'm grateful. A few of the neighbors got a couple of inches of water in their houses, though. I hope they have shop vacs/flood insurance.

OH SHI-

Montgomery is flooding right now. I mean, like, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. My house is on a hill so we're okay for now, but the lower streets in our neighborhood are all flooded out. My sister tried to run for necessities and saw cars under water in some place, holy shit.

If I have to hit the roof, I'm going to be miserable. :

OH SHIT I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER.

Life for me has sucked for the past couple of months. Lost my job at the coffee shop (neither myself nor management were at fault, it was just a random circumstance that put everyone in a bad position). Would have gone job hunting immediately, only I injured my back at the same time and ended up bedridden for a week and a half. I landed practically the first job I applied to, but the catch was that it was a waitress job at the Waffle House.

I am not cut out for waiting tables.

A few of you on my FList probably already know this, but I have both bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. Working at the Waffle House was so stressful that by the end of my first week, I was having at least one (if not two or three) panic attacks a day even on my off days, I had fallen behind in class, and I was losing even more sleep than usual. It got to the point where my doctor eventually had to add yet another prescription to my already robust pharmacy and advised me to pull out of school for the rest of the semester and quit the Waffle House.

So, now I'm jobless and out of school. You'd think that it would have cut down on my stress levels, but no. I'm running out of money I earned waitressing, I'm either under- or overqualified for just about every job in the city and since summer's coming up I'll have to compete with high school kids for retail and food service positions, I haven't been able to work on my portfolios at all and I just generally feel like a failure.

God damn it, I was supposed to graduate this semester!

Anyone have any stress management techniques they can share with me? I would greatly appreciate it. (In b4 "DRINK MOAR!")

This is fucking disgusting.

How is it that animals like this are allowed to wear a badge? 22-year-old Oscar Grant was shot in cold blood by a police officer while being handcuffed. The young man was unarmed and restrained at the time; videos captured by onlookers at the train platform (many are available on YouTube; Feministing.com and postbourgie have a couple of them on display) show an officer kneeling on top of Grant while another stepped back and fired his weapon once.

These pigs are a disgrace to the uniform, and they should not only be fired, but prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

So, I just watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog for the first time. I'm in love with it, yeah, and it's so short. D= I mean, I'm not a fan of shows that extend forever, especially not webshows, but I'm kind of sad that it wasn't a couple of episodes longer. Still, it's just SO COOL.

( I love how Dr. Horrible/Billy's story developed. )

Mmm, I love the feeling of new fandoms. ♥

I PASSED MATH!